The single life. Some dread it. Some love it. Some just do not understand it. But this year, I have chosen to embrace it!
One of my goals this year (#20 for those of you that have been following along), is to not put so much pressure on finding someone to spend my life with and to not let others pressure me either. That is a pretty tall order given that movies and TV shows seem to all be about finding Mr. Right, my mom frequently asks me to join dating sites, and all my friends currently have boyfriends. But I have come to see the beauty in the time spent being single.
Let me start by saying, I have nothing against couples. If you have found love, more power to you! If you are happy waking up to that same face every morning, bless you! Of course, some day I too would like to be in a loving and supportive relationship, but that day is not today.
My parents were married at the age of 23. I am currently 25 and will not be getting married anytime soon. My sister has lived with her boyfriend for the past two years. I share a two bedroom apartment with my best friend and absolutely love sleeping in the middle of my queen sized bed. My friends all currently have serious boyfriends. I have a pretty serious relationship with myself right now, and that is the way I want it to be.
I am not on Tinder, Bumble, ChristianMingle, eHarmony, or any other dating site. I am not actively trying to find someone to grab a coffee or embarrass myself playing golf at TopGolf with. I am not dressing up with full hair and makeup every time I leave the house just in case I meet Mr. Right at the local grocery store. I am simply not focused on a relationship right now. What I am focused on is me.
I am focused on getting to know myself so that when Mr. Right does come along, I do not lose my sense of self to fit into his world. I am dating myself so that I know exactly what type of ice-cream is my favorite (cookie dough, by the way) and which movies I would prefer not to watch (horror movies, yikes). I am taking the time to put myself first so that I do not need to depend on someone else in order to be happy.
In my life, I have seen my friends lose who they are in order to be with a guy. I witnessed my friends turn their backs on friends who love them because they “love” their man more. I have had friends ignore all the horrible things their boyfriend does because they are too afraid to being single again. I have listened to friends talk about how unhappy they are with a guy but refuse to leave in hopes that the guy might change. I choose none of that.
I choose to work on myself. To focus on my mental, physical, and emotional health. To build up my self confidence. To achieve my goals. To build my own damn kingdom. To be the person I have always wanted to be. That is not saying you cannot achieve this while dating someone, but for me I need this time to be alone. I need the time to take myself out and go on a hike. To travel some place new. To focus on what makes me happy.
I am proud of this single woman journey I am taking this year. Maybe I will meet Mr. Right while getting to know myself. Maybe I will meet Mr. Right For Right Now. But I know that no matter what happens, I will know who the heck I am and to me, that is a beautiful thing.